Part of my goal for 2016 is relearning the art of not giving two shakes about what does not matter in the grand scheme of life. That is why I enjoy training for endurance events so much. When your life is structured around your career, sleep patterns, hours of training, and sustenance, you really don’t have the opportunity to focus on anything else. Every problem or concern that seemed so big and encompassing falls away into a nothingness and simply does not matter anymore. You learn to pick and choose where your precious energy goes. It’s absolutely liberating.
You cannot make people show up in their own lives. You cannot cajole, influence, or urge a person to be ready for the next step in life unless they are open to it. The only thing you can do is show up for your own life, and live and lead by example. It’s frustrating at times knowing that an individual has so much potential and refuses to make the changes necessary to live a meaningful life. How can someone be okay with complacency? When people are ready to change, they will. They have to want it badly enough.
Sometimes, I think we try so hard to control and manipulate our lives that we lose out on the pure joy of living. We put up this façade; this impenetrable wall, and we don’t allow our light to shine through. As a culture, we see this every day. How many people are stuck in jobs they dislike or relationships that go nowhere? Stuck doing hobbies that aren’t productive or spending too much time living vicariously through other people? At some point in our lives, we have to break free from complacency; we have to live. It is our job as human beings to live as authentically as we know how. Turn off the television, disconnect from the internet, and put down that stinkin’ phone. Those inanimate objects do not make up the goodness and joy that is your life. The richness of your life depends on the contributions you make to society and the relationships that you form. To me, that is where change occurs and where living begins.
I ask myself everyday, “Is what I’m doing right now going to lead to a greater impact on people’s lives now or in the future?” At times, the answer is yes. Every once in a while, the answer is no. The key to what matters is realizing when to say yes, when to say no, and when to let it all go. We will drive ourselves bonkers if we don’t learn to focus on what matters and to drive out what doesn’t. It’s all about the ability to set boundaries and stick to them.
Everyday will not be fair and balanced. There will be some days you care too much about everything and there will be some days that you do not care enough about anything. For me, I have to pick and choose where to place my concerns. If one of my clients is dissatisfied and is speaking poorly to me, I remind myself they are probably not mad at me, but instead feel they are in a loss of control in a different area in their own lives. It helps take the pity party off of myself and puts the perspective onto the other person.
Learning to let go and ‘not care’ is a balancing act. You only have so much energy to give the world. Wouldn’t it be more beneficial for yourself and the actual ideas you are passionate about to reserve your initiative for those activities? If anything, it is a thought to ponder.
Have a lovely day,