Before I had a baby, I knew I was incomplete. I knew I was supposed to be a mother. I knew I'd love pregnancy. I knew I would be closer to who I felt like I was intended to be. I was right on all counts. Even now, with one baby and another on the way, I know our family isn't done growing. In many ways, I appreciate the experience enough to already be looking forward to the next one. The problem about being right about the fact that I knew I was made to be a mother is that I was subconsciously believing that motherhood is my calling.
It is not.
People say that becoming a parent changes you. That may be true, but I think it's more accurate to say becoming a parent simply uncovers who you really are. I've learned many things about myself since I stopped being my first priority. I've learned that certain things I enjoy are not necessarily things I'm passionate about. I've discovered weaknesses and strengths that I didn't realize I had before. I've also learned that motherhood is everything I wanted it to be and more, and it is even some things I didn't want or expect it to be. Most importantly, I've learned that being a mom can fill me up in places I didn't even know I was empty, but it does not have to be my primary purpose in life.
Moms are superheroes, and while it can be easy to admire them, sometimes it is easy to forget that there is a human behind all of the homemade lunches, naptime, and sleepness nights! Motherhood is different for everyone, but Reghan Hailey shares how to embrace all parts of herself, mother and human.
I'm female, I'm Christian... there are many things that make up who I am. Being a mother is a big piece of the Reghan puzzle. Do I think becoming a mother was and is essential to my overall purpose? Absolutely. However, it isn't the be-all-end-all to finding my calling like I suspected, deep down. Only after becoming a mother did I realize that this isn't it. This isn't my thing. I can be a good or even great mom, and it can be one of the most fulfilling parts of my life; but that's not the same as having a driving passion to provide something good to people, even if I don't really know what that is yet.
I know the work is never done. There will never be a day when I sit down and say, "I've made it. I found my calling. I can stop reaching and growing." There should never be a time when I feel like I've accomplished enough and can stop living. I mean, maybe at 100 years old on my deathbed I can say that, but hopefully by then I'll have earned it. Yet, even then, I'll be moving on to the next thing. In the meantime, I know there's something outside of motherhood that I'm supposed to be doing. That doesn't take away from my love of being a mom. If anything, it just goes to show how complex humans are and how little we know about what pulls us. We all have a calling, and I will find mine. I'll let motherhood, and all the other things I'm learning about myself, push me along the way.